I have a confession...
I have a tramp stamp
eww
I wish I could tell my 18 year old self
STOOOOOP
DON'T DO IT!
but alas I cannot.
So this is the story of how I hid my tattoo for 11 years.
When I was 18 I thought it was awesome not having to obey my parents. I was a freshman at San Diego State University and I had a rather large tax return - to the tune of $186.
Since I had no bills to pay I decided the best way to spend that money was to go get myself tatted.
I had my friend draw up an image of "bird wings" because I liked this quote from Forrest Gump
"Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly, far, far away from here"
Which is funny because I don't really ever talk to God (sorry God!) and I am not so sure what I was trying to fly away from.
So off I went with my perfect back dimples - I only know this because the man who tattooed me told me they were sexy. Did I mention his full throat tattoo? I digress...and decided to get permanent ink.
(Apparently I cut this photo in case my mother ever found it)
(Apparently I cut this photo in case my mother ever found it)
He placed the stencil on me and I actually wanted it a bit lower so you couldn't see it in a bathing suit. But then he told me it would take another 45 minutes to draw it again.
So I said, "okay, that works".
Because apparently waiting 45 more minutes was out of the question for me.
My tattoo actually looks more like idk
angel wings
a mustache
the Motorola symbol
So for years I hid it from my parents because I thought they would disown me. One time I even covered it up with a bandage and said I scraped my back on the faucet getting out of the bathtub...again wtf.
When we went on family vacations where I was in a bathing suit. I made sure to always be behind them or swimming backwards in front of them.. No joke it was always on my mind.
Even when the day came zipping up my wedding dress I had my sisters do it to spare my mother the horror that my skin was perma inked.
And then one day last November I was leaning over the computer desk helping my dad oblivious to the fact that my lower back was exposed. My mom walked in
"Is that a tattoo?"
"Umm, what? Haha don't be silly" nervously yanking down my sweatshirt
"No, you have a tattoo. Let me see it"
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT
I'm 29 and my father is going to kill me!
and you know what?
Neither of them cared
ONE.FREAKING.BIT!
So as I sat there in disbelief that they didn't care I was in shock.
I then walked into the kitchen pulled up the sleeve on my wrist and said
"Do you care if I have two?"
haha this is hilarious! It's so funny to see how our parents could care less about certain things and flip out over the smallest things. My parents were actually with me when I got my first tattoo, but my mom made it very clear how much she despised my second tattoo. And mind you, they are both in places covered by clothes..
ReplyDeleteHaha too funny! My parents didn't care when I got my first one but were so mad when I got the second!
ReplyDeleteTwinsies! I have a pink heart on my wrist. My Mom accidentally saw my chinese symbol (shudder/EW) hip tattoo. She didn't care either!!! I hid that thing for so long too!
ReplyDeleteThis story is too funny! I can't believe you kept it a secret this long! I'm pretty sure when I was 19 I wanted a tramp stamp too. And ewww how gross the tattoo guy told you your dimples were sexy!!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you hid for so many years!! I almost got one on my 20th birthday, I was sitting in the tattoo shop and I just had this sudden urge and felt nauseous and I was like I cannot do this and I walked out and never looked back!
ReplyDeleteUmm, I am still hiding 2!!!!!!!!!1 haha
ReplyDeleteBahahahaha!! I had no idea you hid it from you parents until SO recently!!!
ReplyDeleteHahaha, i love that! I still fear my parents will get mad at me for stuff.. and I'm like old now.
ReplyDeleteHilarious!!! I have one on my ankle that was a dumb 18 year old mistake. I would LOVE to get that puppy removed!
ReplyDeleteHA Oh my gosh this gave me a good laugh. So funny you hid from your parents.
ReplyDeleteLOVE that little heart on your wrist...those are some of my favorite types of tattoos. Something small and pretty like that. I'm too big of a wimp to get a tattoo..but if I wasn't, that's what I would get on my foot.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could've been there when your mom saw your tattoo, because I would've reacted the same way!! 29 years old and still afraid of what your parents will say hahaha!
Perfect way to start my morning - this is hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteHaha this gave me a good laugh! :) I love your little heart- so sweet!
ReplyDeletexo
haha! This is so great, love the part about swimming backwards so they didn't see it!! I can't believe you managed to hide it for so long! When I was 18, I got my nose pierced. Let's just say that did NOT go over well with the parentals....
ReplyDeleteHaha this is so funny and cute! Thanks for sharing- definitely lightened my day a bit.
ReplyDeleteI love this story, you silly girl! I also have a ridiculous tat.I was 16 and knew a place where I could get it done underage..so I got a sun on my foot. No meaning whatsoever, I was just being rebellious. It's not hideous, just really random. I didn't hide it from my parents though. A few years later I got a little star on my left wrist for when there are not stars in the sky for me to wish on. =) I kiiind of want a third one too one day! I think the tiny ones, like your heart, are cute and tasteful.
ReplyDeleteLove this! This is how I was about my belly button piercing and I felt like such an idiot for trying so hard for too long to hide it :-P
ReplyDeleteP.S. Love Forrest Gump!
This is hysterical!! Hahahaha. I am secretly crossing my fingers that my parents don't read my blog post today, because what 31 year old (or in your case 29) wants to get yelled at by their parents for something they did over 10 years ago?? LOL! Now I need to see a pic of this tatt!!
ReplyDeleteHaha you narration to this is awesome. I love the little heart one!
ReplyDeleteLove this post! Reminded me of when I was 19 and got my nose pierced and tried to hide it from my mom - utter fail - she found out (obviously, it's on my face ha) and didn't speak to me for like a week! hahaha I was waiting for a pic of the tattoo at the end of the post! ;) I always thought I would get one, but have never thought of anything good enough...maybe some day? ;))
ReplyDeleteROFL! Must have been hard work to hide for that long! I have a tattoo, but both of my parents have more tattoos than I do so they never cared. However, my grandmother is completely shocked every time she sees it... she forgets it exists, and then its, "WHAT? YOU GOT A TATTOO?" all over again!
ReplyDeleteHahaha I have a "tramp stamp" as well that I got when I turned 18 and was off at college... must have only been away from home for about 2 weeks! Luckily my parents didn't seem to mind too much. I probably would not have gotten it on my lower back if I were to do it again! Oh well, live and learn :)
ReplyDeletehahaha, great post!
ReplyDeleteYou seriously have the best posts!!!! I love that cardigan and I a looking for a good read so I will check out your picks! Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeletexo Mel
turquoise blonde
Well shit if I ever need to cover up a murder or anything I'll be sure to come to you. That's impressive work for eleven years! Although now I want to see this mustache. And I too have been told the same thing about my back dimples. Creepy/cool.
ReplyDeletetoo funny!!
ReplyDelete