Risk

If you follow me along on Instagram you saw that on Thursday of last week I shared that I was denied my request for a four day work week. Not to be a broken record, but we are bumming pretty hard around here. Although by that point I was expecting it (I had asked the past Wednesday and it took eight days for a response) I was still surprised that no alternative solution could be met. I had presented my boss with three "hypothetical situations" in order of desire:

1. A 32-hour work week
2. A 40-hour work week (1 day work from home)
3. A 36-hour work week with a half days on Wednesday (A mid week pick me up)

Although any of those situations would have been better than nothing. Nothing is exactly what was received. You see I work in property management in commercial real estate. I am the onsite contact for tenants and vendors. So I was told that a presence is needed in the office M-F 9-5. Actually I am well aware of this and I knew that working from home would either be denied or ineffective - but I still had to make it an option.

As the words seemed to slow motion roll out of my bosses mouth I just kept repeating to myself  

 "Don't you dare cry"

I was a champ. I brushed his words off my shoulder like dust and said "I just had to ask. For myself, for Presley. If the opportunity was available. I just had to ask"

I feel like before I became someone's mom, I never would have done this. I usually can go with the flow and just accept that things are what they are. However, that is so not okay. That is not who I want Presley to be. I want her to ask for the things she wants, the things she deserves. So I know my example setting days are already here.

The conversation actually was relieving because at some point this year I am hoping to be able to stay home. My husband is fully on board - I just know that now is not quite the right time for us. That felt like a dirty little secret that I was hiding from my boss. But because my boss himself is a father he also followed up by saying "I also understand if you want to look elsewhere for a job". Right now I commute into San Francisco, which takes me about an hour or longer each way. It's a pain but pay is higher in the city and my job does has a lot of advantages to it. Hence the commute.

I did express that while I am not currently looking for a new job I do at some point wish to stay home with Presley. He again said he understands and what happens, happens. He really is a gem when it comes to having a wonderful boss.

I have always loved the quote from Oprah that "luck is preparation meeting opportunity". So while this is not what I was wanting to hear I do feel like it has set me up for a better tomorrow (so to speak). My boss tells me to leave early on some days and he allows me to waltz in around 9am. Honestly I have it pretty darn good here. I also know that when the day comes to put in a two week notice it will be understood. And even better - filled with compassion.

In the meantime I'll be saving a little more & sacrificing a little more so that our dream can be a reality. It may even mean relocating our family to best fit our needs.

Because it comes down to this.

When I am laying at God's Gate waiting to enter. My memories won't be about the days I spent behind a desk. They will be filled with how Presley crashes her head onto my shoulder in the middle of the night. How David gets a sparkle in his eye when he has caught a big fish. How my mom gets excited when she has found a great deal. How when my dad really smiles - the corners of his eyes crinkle. The bond with my sisters and the beautiful blessings of my nephews.

All the little things that in the end were really all the big things.