Team Surprise!

Fall weather is finally gracing us in Northern California and I am so ready to embrace everything that is being pregnant during the fall/winter/spring months. With P we found out we were expecting the day before New Years Eve of 2014 and I can't tell you enough how happy I am to not be having a baby during the summer months again.

This past summer the thermometer reached highs I have never seen in my life, as high as 112! So while I do appreciate everything that comes along with a summer baby (better birthday parties, summer break) I can't wait to welcome a new bundle in the springtime. Where it's still plenty cool enough to be cozy and the flowers are beginning to freshly bloom.

We have decided to keep this little babe's gender a surprise! Which if you know me - is so not like me! But I have a variety of reasons for doing so which I will post separately but the more I convince myself of being team green. The more excited I get! This is 99.8% certain to be our last baby and since I've already got my girl (yes, I am one of those people who desperately wanted a girl). I really would be happy with either gender.

Part of me hopes for another girl because I was raised with nothing but sisters, and our bond is one of the most special things in my life. So to imagine P without a sister does make me sad. However to imagine life without a boy is also one I have a hard time imagining. Even harder to imagine David without a little boy. Plus David was just about the cutest child I've ever seen so cloning him would be a dream <3

All that being said not finding out the gender does also present it's (#firstworld) challenges. We have to come up with two names (sheesh! One is hard enough). Two coming home outfits from the hospital (or one gender neutral) and also do everything we can to not find out. Our last ultrasound is mid November and once you have your 20 week scan you don't have any afterwards (at least that is how it is for me!) So I just keep telling myself make it to 20 weeks and then it's really out of my hands. I am holding strong!

So in case your team green like us - which I really prefer to call team neutral! Here are some things I am eyeing or have already purchased for when we meet the newest Parker baby <3

one piece // swaddle set // gray one piece // magnetic one piece

knotted baby gown // cream knotted baby gown // striped pajama set 

wooden camera teether // moses basket // gray suede moccs

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Five Years

This past weekend the hubs and I celebrated five years of marriage. Can't hardly believe its been five years as time has flown - especially when adding a wild haired toddler into the mix. We cruised to Half Moon Bay for the day and checked many things off the bucket list. Which included Shark Fin Cove in Davenport - which I will say was pretty cool. But slightly treacherous with a three year old (and those damn no dog signs) so we viewed it from the top and called it complete.

From there we ventured to a beach with a secret access point we remembered from a time we went before becoming parents. The route was a little errr sketchy at some points but we made it out there. It's a great beach for kids since the ocean breaks nicely on the shore. P had an absolute BLAST. That is until Finn knocked her over and mama had left all her spare clothes in the car. Whoops!

After we left the beach with our small human wrapped in a towel in a hiking pack. We headed back to the car in search of a pumpkin patch. Half Moon Bay is pretty well known for their pumpkin patches so we knew we were bound to stumble upon some gems. We decided to pull into Arata Pumpkin Farms when we saw it off the side of the road. It was giant, filled to the brim with activities and almost a little too overwhelming. That and the fact the sun was still too high in the sky for my liking - but we hopped on in and had some fun.

We were preparing to head back home after a very full day and then there it was.  A "pick them where they grow" pumpkin patch. And I was like HOLD UP - there is no way we are driving past this place. We have zero places like this where I live and I am always so jealous when I see photos in fields like this. Bonus - you could see the ocean. So I really couldn't have picked a better way to end the day. Plus it was an hour before sunset - only the best time to take photos. Me = winning.

It was the perfect way to celebrate five years of marriage together and has now given us a new yearly tradition. I can hardly believe there will be another mini Parker in tow this time next year! 

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Ripple

Like many of us, the tragic events that unfolded on the evening of October 1st in Las Vegas have left me feeling a great magnitude of sadness. For the victims, for the survivors, for Las Vegas, for the state of Nevada, for the United States and in reality for the entire world. How these same types of events seem to keep happening seems unreal. The list seems as if it will never stop growing and the countless faces and stories of the people it takes with them only seem to multiply.

Columbine. Virginia Tech. Aurora. Sandy Hook. Charleston. San Bernadino. Orlando. Las Vegas. 

While I can only speak on behalf of myself, being a young mom, raising a little human in this kind of world just fills you with a sense of dread. A dread of "what if". What is going to happen next and sadder yet - where? Because as time has proven again and again it will. If 20 first graders can die via mass shooting and nothing is done about it, you can guarantee it will happen again. As it has already proven.

I'm not stepping on my invisible soapbox to preach gun control. Mental health help. I don't know the answers and I fear that even with great steps for each of those fields (which both desperately need reform) the crazies will find a way to do what their sick mind is telling them too. So I think about one of my very favorite quotes said by Mother Teresa:

If you want to bring happiness to the whole world, go home and love your family.

When I look at my little girl who's biggest world worries are the fact that I won't let her wear her daytime clothes to bed (seriously a legit battle) and when I look down and see my stomach growing with new life. I can't help but worry and yet feel an immense amount of hope. I worry about the things they will see in their lifetime. The tragedies yet to unfold, the war's we may become active participants in. I worry about a division of people right here in our country. People disliking one another without knowing one another. Religion separating and fear and hate continuing to pulse.

So what can I do? I will go home and love my family. I can't be their shield from all of life's very ugly realities. But I can do my best to show them all its beauty. The beauty that is always, always there even in very ugly situations. I can show them how to look for it, how to help others look for it and to remind them that even in times of great despair. It's there, sometimes not as easy to find, but it's still there.

I can tell them about the people who help. The people who advocate for change. The people who simply decide to love harder and more often. To say it out loud. People who proudly don uniforms to help those in need. Because in times of tragedy they too are always there.

It seems almost too great a task to bear raising the next generation. But at the same time it's too great a task to bear to do so poorly or inadequately. Without love, understanding, kindness and compassion. Our greatest hope is the future we raise. So go home and love your family and let's hope that doing that just a little harder will create a ripple that touches everyone. We owe them that much.

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